{"id":11927,"date":"2023-05-05T16:50:02","date_gmt":"2023-05-05T16:50:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tolagbe.com\/upgrade\/?p=11927"},"modified":"2024-03-05T08:48:06","modified_gmt":"2024-03-05T08:48:06","slug":"connection-focused-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tolagbe.com\/upgrade\/2023\/05\/05\/connection-focused-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"Connection-Focused Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"11927\" class=\"elementor elementor-11927\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7af37b7 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default eltdf-parallax-row-no eltdf-content-aligment-left eltdf-elementor-row-grid-no eltdf-disabled-bg-image-bellow-no\" data-id=\"7af37b7\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-63aab41\" data-id=\"63aab41\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6512d4f elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6512d4f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To me as a parent, Connection is key.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Connection-focused parenting is based on the assumption that we are all fundamentally \u2018good inside\u2019. In other words, you are a good person and your teen is a good kid.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This might sound deceptively simple. Of course, our kids, and we as parents are good inside. But stay with me here. It is easy to hold onto our idea of goodness when everything is going right. When we are calm and regulated. When our kids are behaving as we believe that they should.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, when our kid has just had a meltdown. We argued with our partner about how we handled a parenting situation. Or we are exhausted, overwhelmed and \u2018over it\u2019 it is very easy to see the worst in ourselves, our partner or our teen. It is very easy to believe that we are \u2018bad inside\u2019.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Connected parenting is a combination of limits and boundaries along with gentleness, close attachment, love and connection. It allows me to communicate, teach, and relate to my kids on a deeply personal level.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Respectfully listening and tenderly nurturing the full spectrum of my kid\u2019s emotions and feelings. Be mindful not to shut them down when they are mad or angry, but instead help them process their big feelings by staying close, keeping calm and connected and modelling empathy as their emotions move through them. For me, It is also about staying connected to myself as a parent and making sure I take care of my own needs, in order to manage my own stresses and worries.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In other words, prioritise my relationship with my kids.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-0c90574 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default eltdf-parallax-row-no eltdf-content-aligment-left eltdf-elementor-row-grid-no eltdf-disabled-bg-image-bellow-no\" data-id=\"0c90574\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2fe03bd\" data-id=\"2fe03bd\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2671d10 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"2671d10\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"275\" height=\"183\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/tolagbe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/connected-parenting.jpg?fit=275%2C183&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-11938\" alt=\"\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5372c2b\" data-id=\"5372c2b\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9a43bdb elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"9a43bdb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"275\" height=\"183\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/tolagbe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/connected-parenting3.jpg?resize=275%2C183&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-sahel_elated_image_square size-sahel_elated_image_square wp-image-11940\" alt=\"\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-f07ec96 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default eltdf-parallax-row-no eltdf-content-aligment-left eltdf-elementor-row-grid-no eltdf-disabled-bg-image-bellow-no\" data-id=\"f07ec96\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-91db175\" data-id=\"91db175\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9e7d53f elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"9e7d53f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>Connected Parenting: New Name for an Old Idea:<\/b><\/p><ul><li aria-level=\"2\">Connected parenting is about ensuring that your children TRUST you.<\/li><li aria-level=\"2\">You want them to predict what mum or dad would do in any given circumstances<\/li><li aria-level=\"2\">Communication is key as it builds your children&#8217;s resilience\u00a0<\/li><li aria-level=\"2\">No two kids are alike<\/li><li aria-level=\"2\">As a parent apologize when you are wrong. ( I know it\u2019s hard)<\/li><li aria-level=\"2\">Etiquette, discipline and manners are still relevant irrespective of where in the world you are raising kids\u00a0<\/li><li aria-level=\"2\">Practice age-appropriate discipline and conversation<\/li><\/ul><p>Parenting has singularly been the most rewarding and hardest job I have ever done. It is so complex! I know firsthand, that when things are hard it can make you believe that you are doing it wrong, or that you are a bad parent. The model of parenting most of us grew up with was authoritarian parenting, which is based on fear.\u00a0 Connection parenting is based on love instead of fear.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>So, my husband and I have both an authoritarian and permissive parenting style but as our kids grew, we realized connected parenting helps build a relationship that allows our natural instincts to guide our parenting choices; especially when raising a teenager. The backbone of this parenting style puts mental health and emotional life as the top priority for both child and parent.\u00a0<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-05cd39c elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"05cd39c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"348\" height=\"145\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/tolagbe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/connected-parenting2.jpg?resize=348%2C145&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-sahel_elated_image_square size-sahel_elated_image_square wp-image-11937\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/tolagbe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/connected-parenting2.jpg?w=348&amp;ssl=1 348w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/tolagbe.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/connected-parenting2.jpg?resize=300%2C125&amp;ssl=1 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 348px) 100vw, 348px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0196981 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0196981\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><b>You Are Good Inside<\/b><\/p><p>If no one has told you lately, You are good inside, my friend! You are a good parent and your children are lucky to have you!<\/p><p>Even if you said the wrong thing, lost your sh#t or made mistakes \u2013 You are a good parent!<\/p><p>If you didn\u2019t know, delayed getting your child help or struggle to ask for help \u2013 You are a good parent!<\/p><p>Even if your teen is struggling, has anxiety or depression and is finding life hard \u2013 You are a good parent!<\/p><p>You need to be mundane; reliable, and trustworthy to the point of being boring.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>If your child trusts you; the work can begin.<\/p><p>They won\u2019t always like you- it won\u2019t always be sunshine and banter (no s) but they will know that you have them- as long as you are able, as long as there is breath in your body, you have them.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><p>That\u2019s the beginning of\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/explore\/tags\/connectedparenting\/\">#connectedparenting<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p> [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10363,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[83,84,89],"tags":[88,86,87,85],"class_list":["post-11927","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motherhood","category-motherhood-around-the-world","category-tm","tag-connected-parenting","tag-kids","tag-motherhood","tag-parenting"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - 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